Dating, Dating, Dating

I think you can guess what we talked about this week. That's right...dating! It was a really interesting topic to discuss. 

We talked about the Relationship Attachment Model (R.A.M) on Thursday. It states that you must know someone more than you trust them, you must trust them more than you rely on them, you must rely on someone more than you commit to them, and you must committed to them more then you touch them. I definitely agree with this model and I can see how when this is out of whack, a relationship can be very messed up. My teacher compared the situation when touch is the highest to when a car has the base up way loud. From this inside of the car (or the inside of the relationship) things sound (seem) great! But from the outside, it sounds (looks) terrible. We talked about how to avoid a false perception or the relationship while you are in one. It is important to constantly be evaluating the relationship. Don't be afraid to "step out of" the relationship to see what it looks like from an outside perspective. It really helps.

One insight I gained in class was about what a date consists of and how it relates to the roles of individuals in families. We have heard that a date is planned, paid for, and paired off. This links up perfectly with The Family: A Proclamation to the World when it says that a husbands role in the family is to preside (plan), provide (paid for), and protect (paired off). It is great that dating is preparatory to marriage in so many ways!   

Know What You're Reading

This week I learned how important it is to really know how to analyze research.

We have been talking about a subject that is often very sensitive- homosexuality. I know this is a sensitive subject and I don't mean to offend anyone with any of my statements. For homework, we read a few articles on how the research has been portrayed as supporting the idea that homosexuality is biological when the research really doesn't conclude that at all. When the scientists of the study were asked if the conclusion that it was biological was correct, they even denied it.

This showed me that the media definitely doesn't always show the truth. We need to be wise and do in-depth research ourselves. We need to read up on the research and see if it is reliable. Then, after we have collected this data, we can form our standing on subjects.

On a (not far-off) side note, my friend posted this link to her Facebook. I encourage you all to read it!

Social Class

This week in class we discussed social class and its effects on family functioning. At one point, we got into groups and talked about attributes we want to take from different social classes and add to our own family. As we started discussing, it was interesting to see that we weren't sure where to take the attributes from. For example, hard work was one I came up with. Some upper class people have worked really hard to get where they are at while others haven't. Some people in lower class don't have the ethic of hard work while others work, and work, and work non-stop. It was really neat to see and discuss that no matter the social class you are in, you can make your family work as long as you build it on proper principles.

Family Systems Theory

This week we talked about different theories that pertain to the family. The one that I believe makes the most sense is the Family Systems Theory. It is a complex theory, but at the same time basic. I can't tell you everything about it because I'm not an expert, but I would encourage you to do some research on it. It is very interesting!
 I love the idea that the family is made up of individuals the each have different roles to play, but combined, they make something greater...the family. With this thought in mind, it is fun to look at different families and see who plays what role. Who is the peacemaker? The outgoing one? The calm one?
Along, with this theory comes the idea of family rules. Many rules are unspoken, but all family members know them. In my family, it is expected that when a parent calls for you, you go to them. On the flip side, if you need a parent, you have to go find them and not call out or them. Do you have any unspoken rules in your family?