Blended Families

I loved the discussion my class has this Thursday on the difficulties that can arise when a parent remarries. I will admit that I hadn't really thought about the challenges that come with this. Not because I don't think there are challenges, but just because I never thought to think about it. Does that make sense? Maybe not.

Anyway, it was an awesome class and it has really helped me to ponder this subject. I love it! One thing in class that really stuck out to me is that to be successful in this transition, it is so important that the couple (and the kids in some areas) openly discuss what some challenges may be. As these challenges are discussed, the family can figure out ways to avoid or move through them. Then, when the challenge comes up, the family is a little better prepared to handle it. Although there will probably be problems the family didn't expect, if they have this foundation, it can help with all the other problems as well.

Seriously, communication plays a HUGE role in relationships and their success.

Parenting

This could possibly be my all-time favorite topic! I have taken two parenting classes here at school and have loved both of them. I’ve even thought about changing my career goals to work with parents. We will see :)

One of the most important and basic principles that I feel parents need to understand is that they are there to help guide and teach the child- not force them to become a certain way. I think that many times, parents believe they have complete rule over their children. It is important that parents don’t forget that their children have agency. They have the ability to choose. We need to respect that gift that Heavenly Father has given them. It’s also important to remember that they were Heavenly Father’s children long before they became ours.

Speaking of Heavenly Father, He is the perfect parent. If we are concerned about if our principles and practices are right, look to Heavenly Father and see if it falls in line with His teachings. Ask Him if what you are doing is right. Let Him guide you! With Him, you cannot fail. 

Work and Family

I thought this chapter of the book was very interesting. We learned about different trends in the world that pertain to work and family. To be honest, it seems like most of the trends are occurring doing to selfishness. I understand the need for money. I understand that sometimes both parents have to work in order to provide for their family. Unfortunately, there are so many times when that is not the case. Mothers work because they want to get out of the house. Fathers work longer hours because the family wants a new boat. When parents work longer hours, it takes away from family time. How sad is that? Parents should try and spend as much time as possible with their children….that’s what I believe at least.

I know that every family has different circumstances and I don’t have any right to judge a family for the decisions they make. I would suggest though that families really look at their work and their family. Can they cut back on the work time at all? Is it necessary for both parents to be working? If changes can be made, I would say that they should be made. 

Communication

Words, tone, and non-verbal cues. The three things that play into communication. What is interesting to me is what percentage each one plays in communication. In class, we learned that 14% of communication is through words, 35% is through tone, and 51% is through non-verbal cues. I definitely agree with this. I have been in so many situations where people say certain things, but it is SO obvious that they don’t mean anything they are saying. My advice is to make sure what you are saying matches your tone and your body language. You can say whatever the heck you want, but that doesn’t mean anything. You have to be sure that you mean what you say. If these match up, communication can be much more effective.  

Family Crisis

I think it is easy to see that just about every family, at one point or another, faces a crisis (or maybe more than one). What is the difference between a family that falls apart during a crisis and one that grows closer? I believe that the difference is the way members of the family and the family as a whole react.

One reaction I have noticed occurs often is a change in communication. Either a family communicates better or their communication worsens. If a family wants to grow closer, communication is key. Especially when going through a crisis! It is so important to have family members that you can turn to to help you get through the bad and to see that good can come. It is always nice to know that someone is there for you. Someone wants the best for you. In order to know that someone feels this way towards you, they must communicate it is some way. Through speech, touch, body language. It is important (in some way) to know that someone cares.

I challenge you (and myself) to look at trials as a blessing. Look for ways that you and your family can grow from the hardships you face. I promise that as we do this, our families will grow closer and our happiness will increase.

Sexuality

Well, this weeks topic is a little interesting and possibly awkward to some. It was on sexuality (just like the blog post title says). I'm not much of a fan of talking about this in a public place, but I'm not too uncomfortable with it.

One thing that really stuck out to me was that Satan really knows what he is doing. Sexually intimacy can bring us closer to God in a way that other things can't. Through sexual intimacy, we have the power to create...just as our Heavenly Father does. I believe that this is one of the reasons why Satan attacks this area so strongly. He knows the sacredness of this act and he will do anything to lead us to think less of it. He will tempt some to believe that it is okay to participate in sexual intercourse with anyone. Others, he may lead to believe that sex is a bad thing even when you are married. He will do anything to get us to misuse to power of procreating.

I urge everyone to be aware of the attack that Satan is making. Help other to see the importance of sexual intimacy and help them understand what it really is all about. We should teach our children (as well as others around us) that these are beautiful powers when used in the right way.

The Divine

This week we talked about marriage and having children. We talked about how the trend is that when couples have children, they become less satisfied with the marriage. This is a depressing thought to me. Some (if not all) of us wanted to know how we could avoid falling to be a part of this trend. Then, Brother Williams said something that really stuck with me. He said, "We're not going for the natural, we are going for the divine." (or something like that). How awesome is that!? Naturally, after having a child, couples feel like they have less communication and feel like they are drifting apart. That can be avoided though! If both partners of the marriage are committed and willing to work, a marriage can be just as satisfying (or even MORE satisfying). What hope! This thought makes me excited for having a family! Focus on the divine, and great things will happen.